Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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