oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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