I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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