I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Randomize
