I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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