oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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