I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
40s are totally the cure
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
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