Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
