i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
i can't believe i had my finger in that
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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