his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
40s are totally the cure
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
