i need an iv and a liver transplant
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
