Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I need water and some morals
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