Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
