Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
