I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
