I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
And the cops told us we were all naked.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
