Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
