His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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