Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
