i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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