i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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