found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
