Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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