marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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