There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
