Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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