wrigley field is MILF paradise
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I am midnight drunk by noon
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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