I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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