You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
