hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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