No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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