So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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