Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
There's always time for handjobs
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
