I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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