I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
