Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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