Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
