She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
