you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
