Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
