I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
He felt like a one man threesome
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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