I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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