He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
