I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
ok first of all what the fuck
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
