My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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