Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
