Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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