arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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