I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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