this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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