she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
