then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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