Swine flu. Run for my life!
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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